Where is the hickey?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
