You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
