It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
