It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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