you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize