How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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