You're completely useless in the revolution.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
