We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
