My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
not ubering you a puppy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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