So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
