suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
