It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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