i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
