There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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