we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize