Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
