party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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