the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
