I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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