It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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