I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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