Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
