okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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