I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
