I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize