Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
