Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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