I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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