i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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