oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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