ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
