those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
