girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
