one two three fourrrrnication!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
