so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
