So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
