Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
