Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
