Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
