once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
