I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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