If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
