i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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