You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
