I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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