I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
