yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
