i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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