I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
