I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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