i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
