I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
