How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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