Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
