i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
