Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
