remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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