why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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