so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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