the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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